Speechless
by Nature's Melody
Summary: AU: When Edward left Bella, she came across someone who understood her. But when this person changes Bella for the worst, will she be able to find love again? ExB::Thanks for the Reviews, Favs, and Alerts! You all rock!
1. A Clean Break

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**_

With a slight rustle of the leaves, I felt his cold presence vanish into the gloom. A choked sob released from my throat as I fell to the ground, tears running down my cheeks. He was gone, he had left me. I should've fought back; I would've fought back, if he hadn't uttered those four, simple words.

_I don't want you._

I shuttered as his voice rang with perfect clarity through my mind. A jagged hole was ripped through my chest, and I couldn't breathe properly. I don't know how long I was lying on the dirty forest floor, but I noticed I was shivering. Of course, it was the middle of January and it was raining, but I didn't care. My house was nearby, just down the trail, but I didn't want to go back.

_Don't worry, human memories fade._

I scowled as his last words reverberated again. I wanted to forget those memories this instant, but I knew I wouldn't survive without him. These memories would never fade, and he was stupid to think that they would. "Edward," his name came out as a choked whisper. I hated myself, I hated him, and I hated the Cullens. Did they not care for me as I had for them? Did I make it that easy for them to walk out of my life? Without any goodbyes?

_A clean break would be better for you._

The edges of my palm's cold scar flared in pain as his words sparked the memories from last spring break. A clean break had caused me so much pain before, but that was only a result of a few broken bones. I had Alice to help me live, to help me continue everyday tasks without feeling like a nuisance. But who did I have now? Charlie wouldn't understand, and I couldn't bring him the pain of watching me. My brunette hair stuck to my face, the rain mixing with my tears, stinging my swollen, red eyes. I cried out again as his voice kept taunting me.

_Take care of yourself._

I scoffed at that silly remark. Why would he care what happened to me? He had led me on for six months; six long, unbelievable months. If he had only explained to me that he didn't feel the same. I would've understood. We didn't even need to be friends. Instead, he included his family with my torture. But what could I expect? He liked my blood more than me; he was just toying with his food. _No!_ I thought in agony. He must've felt something, because he never killed me, he left me with a chance at life. But surely it was only because Carlisle would've been disappointed with him if he cheated on his diet.

_We're very easily distracted._

Was that what I was; a distraction? Were they going to resume the wonderful, human-free life they had before I came to Forks, or were they going to mess with another human's life? How did I know that their eyes weren't just contacts? They could have just lied about their diets? I pushed that thought into the back of my mind, refusing to believe. Maybe they just enjoyed messing with people's feelings, and leaving them broken in a forest.

_We won't bother you again._

Even though I believed they didn't actually want me, my heart broke again at the memory of his words. They had seemed like my family. Emmett was my older, hilarious brother; Jasper the calm, understanding sibling. Alice was my quirky, ecstatic sister, while Rosalie was the person who got on my nerves, but I loved her nonetheless. Esme and Carlisle were the parents I never had; they actually took care of me, unlike Renee or Charlie. Did they never care? It had felt so real… especially Edward. Pain seized my heart, and I was yearning for Jasper to save me with his ability. Our love had seemed so real, but maybe it was just a stupid, human reaction.

_My world is not for you._

These words hurt me the most. Alice has seen me becoming Edward's equal, a vampire that could hold his attention. Was that why they stopped James from turning me? They didn't want deal with these fake feelings for me for eternity?

The rain had ceased, yet I was shivering uncontrollably. I noticed dawn was breaking through the trees and I wiped away the last of my tears. I wouldn't let Charlie see me like this, so I couldn't return home. Or, at least, I couldn't live at his house.

I stood carefully; my balance was dreadful in my current emotional state. I ran home as quickly as I could. The back door was unlocked and Charlie was snoring on the couch. I rushed up the stairs, grabbing my duffle bag and small amount of money. I didn't care; I could use my college fund if I needed a vast amount of cash. What use was education now?

I took a final look around the house and my eyes filled with tears as I focused my gaze on Charlie's sleeping form. He hadn't been the world's greatest father, most of the time I was taking care of him, but he had tried. It was hard to turn my back and leave through the front door, but somehow, I managed to do it. I swiftly jumped into my Chevy, the loud engine roared to life, probably waking my father. It didn't matter, for I had already pulled out of the driveway. The sun rose silently behind me as I drove out of Forks for hopefully the last time in my now pitiful existence.

**A/n: So what do you think so far? I'm working on three stories at once, so some encouragement for this story is appriciated.**


	2. A Deadly Combination

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Finally, after two hours of driving, I was in Seattle. I had to pull over to a curb when the pain ripped through my chest, as it did whenever I remembered the Cullen family. _Damn memories._ The reminders wouldn't leave me. I jumped out of the Chevy, carrying everything that I owned in my small duffle bag. I couldn't keep my truck, it drawled too much attention. After some walking, I stopped at a small, rundown apartment building located in downtown Seattle. My room was dirty and homely, but it was cheap, so I immediately checked into it.

Days passed. I only left the room once a daily to get a small amount of food that I didn't eat, or to pay my landlord. I lay on my bed for hours, trying to forget the memories. After what seemed like years, but in reality was only a month, I decided to relive the memories, hoping that I could get them out of my system. Of course, that only brought more pain to me, so I stopped.

_Screw this. _I thought one day as I grabbed my black jacket and rushed out of the building into a cold February morning. I wandered aimlessly through the many backstreets of the city. I didn't have a specific destination; after all, life had no meaning to me anymore. I was glad for the distraction that Seattle presented. The last time I had visited was when I was little. Everything was so new to me, there were only small reminders of my past here. But I could handle it.

I wandered for hours. My scruffy appearance caught few eyes, much to my relief. I knew my father was searching for me, hurting, and I felt guilty. _But isn't this for the best? That he doesn't know how much pain I'm in?_ I tried to reason with myself, and it eased my discomfort slightly. Time passed, and eventually, it was twilight. The pain resurfaced.

I walked in the direction of the apartment. When I was almost halfway back to my room, the wind blew strongly against me. A very sweet smell entered my nostrils and I stiffened, my heart skipping a beat.

I turned so that I was against the wind. No one else was on this street and I became extremely nervous. It wasn't _his_ scent, that I was sure. This vampire was one I hadn't seen before. Over time, I found that each of the Cullens had different scents; there was a very faint difference between each.

A small crash came from the alley at my right and my heart quickened even more. Whoever it was, wanted to play games with me. "Just come out here," I murmured quietly. I was staring into the alley, when I felt a cool breath on my neck. My back stiffened and my eyes widened in fright

I turned slowly to look into the dark, black eyes of a young woman. Her fiery hair swayed slightly in the wind. I took a step back in surprise, and she grabbed my arm roughly.

"Hello Victoria." My voice trembled, and a large grin spread across her face. Victoria's eyes were filled with passion. She was a deadly combination; vengeful and hungry.

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**A/n: Okay, so this isn't the best, I know. It's short and a cliffy, but I'm extremely impatient to write about a certain part of the story, so I'm trying to not let my impatience get into my writing. I may come back and edit this chapter, but if you like/dislike my story, PLEASE REVIEW! I really want some critism!**


	3. A Better Outcome

"Hello _Bella_," I flinched as she scoffed my name, as if it were a terrible disease. "I'm afraid we were never properly introduced." Victoria's grip on my arm tightened and I let out an involuntary whimper of pain.

"Why are you here?" I asked timidly. "If you're going to kill me, just do it." Victoria's eyes widened and she laughed a high, bubbly giggle.

"Now why would I rush such a thing? To be honest, I'm surprised your little boyfriend isn't here to save you?" I flinched again and she noticed. "What's wrong dear? Is there something wrong with Edward?"

At his name, my arm wrapped around my chest and I sunk to the ground. Victoria didn't relinquish her hold on my arm, but sat next to me on the ground. "Don't," I whispered and a confused look conquered her beautiful face.

"What happened?" She matched my tone and leaned towards me with obvious interest. I stared at her incredulously.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm not sure," I flinched again as she reminded me of Edward. "What did he do to you? I was under the impression that you were his pet?"

My eyes narrowed and I growled a pitiful, human growl. Victoria laughed at my attempt and brought me into her arms. She began to run and before I could protest, we were in my apartment.

"How'd you know where I live?" She smiled ruefully.

"I came across your scent and followed it here. But, enough about me, what happened Bella." I couldn't understand what had occurred to bring about the change, but Victoria actually seemed to care about me. This time, when she said my name, it wasn't full of hate, but of concern.

I took a deep breath. "He left me. They all left me. Edward had been leading me on the entire time, playing with my feelings." The pain erupted through my chest and I moved to wrap my arms around myself. I curled into a ball and buried my head in my arms.

"But, why? After James's little…incident," she winced as pain contorted her features, "I was sure Edward would change you." I looked up and noticed we were both in similar positions on my small bed; arms wrapped around our midsections and pain evident on our faces. "He was like a mate to you wasn't he" Victoria stared at me curiously, the pain beginning to dim from her eyes.

I nodded solemnly and felt her cold arm around my shoulders. "Why do you care?" I had the nerve to ask. Victoria cocked her head and sighed.

"I may be a monster, but I _do_ have feelings, you know." She let out a shaky laugh. "This Edward fellow, he has hurt both of us badly. I can relate to your feelings."

"Why are you here?"

Victoria sighed. "You're full of questions aren't you? Well, I was in the city, hunting. I came across your scent, and followed you to this building. I waited for weeks, and when you finally came outside today…" she shook her head in disgust. "I wanted revenge on you Bella. I thought you were my enemy, but it turns out that you're just like me."

"So you're not going to kill me?" Indecisiveness sparked across her face. Here eyes found mine, searching for something. I wasn't sure what it was, but she seemed to find it.

"Now, Bella, I'm a selfish creature. I'm lacking a companion and could use a friend." I stiffened at her words, but she continued, pretending not to notice. "Hopefully, during the change, you will forget your heartbreak. I'm hoping that you will; it would help me to get my revenge on the Cullen clan."

"No!" I practically shrieked, and Victoria clamped a hard hand over my mouth. Her ruby eyes shown brightly in the poor lighting.

"Don't worry; it will only hurt for three days." With that simple statement, she leaned over me and placed her cold lips against my neck. "I truly am sorry Bella, but believe me. This is a better outcome than death."

I felt daggers cut through the delicate skin of my neck and I froze from the pain. Fire was spreading through my veins

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**A/n: Please tell me what you think of this chapter! I had a really hard time writing Victoria... this didn't turn out exactly how I envisioned it, but I would appriciate anyone else's opinions! Please review!**

**Also, check out my profile for a link to a poster I made for this story. Also, there is a link to my fanfiction LiveJournal account!**


	4. On The Third Day

The pain was different then the first time she had suffered

The pain was different from the first time I had suffered from a bite. When James's venom had spread, it started slowly, like an ache that became an itch. But this was different, yet strangely welcome. I'd rather this pain, a pain that spread through my veins like wildfire, than a pain that erupted from the hole in my chest whenever I was reminded of him.

As soon as I felt the daggers, which I recognized as Victoria's teeth, sink into my skin, I was ablaze. I could almost feel the venom spread through the pipe work that was my veins. The daggers struck again at my two wrists, but it felt like a pinprick compared to the hell I was experiencing for the second time of my existence.

I felt the rush of wind passing around me before I found myself being laid on a soft material. I barely noticed this though, as I tried to concentrate on this strange, inhuman screeching that was filling my eardrums.

"Shh, Bella, its okay. I'm here for you; only three days. You're strong, you can do this!" Victoria whispered silent reassurances to me, and I realized, with horror, that the high pitched keening was my screams.

Years seemed to pass, yet Victoria never left my side. She held my hand and never released it, even when I screamed and cursed at her to go to hell. I couldn't understand why she didn't just kill me. I had been through so much, I just wanted out of this horrible world.

I must have been trying to bargain with her forever, until my vision began to narrow. I felt as if I were heading through a dark tunnel. The pain was still present, but momentarily, my fear ruled my body. My brain had always been frightfully perceptive, so it only made sense that I would realize the fatigue that conquered my emotions. I crept into the blackest darkness imaginable, but at this moment, my mind was at peace.

On the first day, I lost my voice.

I awoke from my restless slumber with a scream in my throat. I opened my mouth, my lips forming the shapes of a screech, but no sound came out. Relief radiated from Victoria.

"Don't worry, only two more days Bella. You've been doing so well, so don't give up!" I admired Victoria's loyalty to me, but I was convinced it was only out of guilt. Why would a vampire want anything from me, besides my blood? Was this how she was getting her revenge on Edward, by making me an eternal nuisance to him?

Jealousy flooded my heart and left my body polluted with it; at least Victoria knew that James loved her. Even though she was alone in this world, she at least knew someone had cared for her.

Much to my relief, my thoughts were overwhelmed by the burning of my skin, leaving me unable to think straight. I clawed at my arms, where the pores were struggling to sweat the remaining fluids out of my body. Victoria held me in her lap, her arms around my chest, acting like a straightjacket.

Tears fell down my face, blurring my already poor vision. I couldn't feel her anymore, the pain was numbing anything other than itself, but I knew Victoria was there, wiping away my tears.

No matter what her reasons for this kindness was, I was forever indebted to Victoria. She kept me from hurting myself. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the urge to claw out of my skin. I wanted nothing more than to scream at the fiery haired witch that held me. I still couldn't figure what kind of interest I was to her.

I crept back into a sleep, into a horrible dream. I was quickly awakened and flew into spasms of unending torture. No matter how much I tried, the darkness wouldn't overcome me again.

On the second day, I lost my sleep.

"This is the third day Bella. The worst is over!" Victoria was ecstatic, but I couldn't see why. My senses were slowing coming back to me; only they seemed to be improved; at least a thousand times more sensitive. Smells came from everywhere and the sound of my heartbeat echoed in my ear.

I noticed for the first time that I was lying in a room, on top of a vast bed. Sunlight filtered through a large window, its rays cascading onto my outstretched arm. My skin, which seemed paler than my already translucent tone, reflected the light meekly, sending a small amount of sparkles around the room, although it didn't amount to how Edward had looked...

My weak heartbeat quickened slightly before returning to its normal, painfully slow, rhythm. It was frightening, knowing that it was an indication of my death.

After a bout of painful silence, I closed my eyes, realizing that my end was near; death would take me within the next hour.

"Its okay sweetie, you'll be fine. Just imagine it Bella; eternity is waiting for you." Victoria whispered lightly in my ear, and I smiled slightly. I remembered my friends, my family, and last of all Edward. It still pained me to think of him, but the dull fire in my veins comforted me some.

Then it happened. Intuition told me that I was holding my final breathe. _Edward, I love you._ I thought my final, human, thought, as I released the air that I was holding. My heart went silent, and I plunged, yet again, into the awaiting darkness.

On the third day, I lost my life

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**A/n: Okay, I just want to reassure you guys, I'm not abandoning my other fics. I'm currently working on them, but this chapter was just nagging at my mind, so I had to write this. I'm hoping I captured the changing process, I'm not sure, but any feedback is appriciated!**

**This could have been a thousand times better, I would take breaks and think of a flippin amazing line that would work in this chapter, and then I would forget it as soon as I reached the computer! So annoying! Thanks for all of the Alerts and Reviews! I love you guys!**


	5. AN: I need your help!

**A/N: Hey everyone, sorry for the Authors Note! I'm writing the next chapter right now, but I need a favor from ya'll... I write while listening to music. Any type of music, but it's the only way I feel comfortable writing. Anyways, my iPod is getting kind of boring, making it harder to write, so I need to get some new songs pronto! Any suggestions of any good bands/songs? Thanks, just message me or I guess you can say it in a review!**

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was so busy! School, music lessons, Drumline practice, band practice... I didn't have any time to write! I promise to have the next chapter up tonight! But, again, please send me any song advice!**

**Oh, and now I am an active Beta Reader, so come to me with any of your Beta-ing needs!**

**Thanks everyone! I love you all! I'll replace this with a new chapter tonight!**


	6. Desirable and Appealing

The beginning came as quickly as the end. One second, I was in complete darkness, but then light filtered through my eyelids. I slowly opened my eyes, taking in a dull, neutral colored room. Yet, it was strangely attractive to me. Maybe it was because of my improved vision; the drab tan walls seemed more vivid than it had in during my change.

I immediately froze, my breathing stopped. _I'm changed._ My mind raced as I tried to remember what had happened. My first memory was the pain, and Victoria. I glanced around the room again; my eyes roamed over the rosewood chair where it stood next to the bed where I was sitting. It smelled strongly of Victoria; that must be where she had stayed during my transformation.

I continued my scan of the room, but Victoria wasn't anywhere in sight. I frowned. _Of course, she probably abandoned me._ Hurt filled my chest. What would I do if she had? I decided to search through my memories to see if I had an option, besides residing in this bland place.

I remembered that I had a dad, but I couldn't put a face or name on the memory of my parental figure. Then there was a boy who had annoyed me greatly. My father had thought I liked him.

_Damn._ This was annoying. I couldn't remember anything! I tried harder, racking my mind for anything clear, defined. Most of my memories were fuzzy, so I quickly skipped over them.

_Edward. _I recognized the name immediately. I remembered my prom with him, when I had asked him to change me. _Why did Victoria change me then?_ Oh, James had tried to kill me. The memories came in a flood. My love for Edward, how he had left me, and why Victoria had come looking for me.

_"Now, Bella, I'm a selfish creature. I'm lacking a companion and could use a friend."_

If Victoria wanted me where was she? As if she could read my mind, Victoria entered the room.

"Oh Bella, you've finally woken up!" A mass of fiery hair flew at me and pulled me into a hug.

"Victoria?" Her name came out slightly strangled for the back of my mouth suddenly felt uncomfortable. It was almost a feeling of suffocation. Victoria stepped away from me and raised an eyebrow. I pointed to my throat. "Something's wrong with…" I trailed off as she giggled in her high, girlish voice.

"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry that I forgot about your thirst! The only change I've experienced was my own, and I forgot how unbearable the feeling is!" My eyes widened as I realized that I needed to hunt… humans were my food now. I shuddered and Victoria patted my shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry; the first hunt is always the worst. After you get out of here, it'll be all instinct for a year or so." Her words offered no comfort to my mind. It was easy to ignore her as she continued to tell me about the hunting process in detail, I was infatuated with my thoughts about Edward.

_I was in love with a vampire? _How did I manage that? Surely he must've wanted to kill me, since I was his food source. Wait, his whole family was a coven. How had I even hung around them unharmed?

"Bella, are you ready to go?" Victoria's burgundy eyes were shining with excitement. "This is the first time I get to hunt with anyone besides myself in a year!"

I tilted me head at her. "But I remember someone telling me that a newborn's thirst was unmanageable. Wouldn't I just slaughter the whole town?" I grimaced at the thought; I didn't want to be a monster.

Victoria frowned. "Damn my inexperience. I guess I'll just bring you home a snack! Wait here, I'll be back in ten minutes."

She disappeared through the doorway before I could make another noise. I sighed out of frustration and reached the door, revealing a hallway leading to a rather large dining room. A flash of light caught my eye, so I turned to see a small bathroom. The many surfaces of the small room were reflecting the sunlight that entered the room from a window that seemed too large.

Suddenly curious, I entered. I looked into a square mirror and gasped, horrified at what I saw. Of course I was paler, skinnier, and had more angular features; even my hair had turned a darker shade of brunette and had a natural gloss. But the piercing, blood red of my eyes scared me. My wonder at my human life grew even stronger.

I glanced around the room and saw a pile of clothes on the lidded seat of the toilet. I smiled; Victoria really did care about me. _For now,_ I thought ruefully, but decided to push the thought out of my mind. If Victoria ever did grow tired of me, I would figure it out then. Why should I subject myself to this grief that wasn't even justified?

I quickly tuned on the shower and hopped in, stripping the dirty rags off of my body. I didn't even notice the temperature of the water. Surely it must be cold, I hadn't even waited for it to heat, but I couldn't feel the difference on my new, marble-like skin.

Minutes later, I twisted the knob to turn off the water. I grabbed a towel that was hanging from a rack and dried my body. I didn't mind the feel of water on my skin, but I didn't want to get my new clothes wet. I glanced at the mirror for a final time and shuddered when I saw my irises had changed to a dark black and purple bruising appeared under my eyes.

I walked out of the room, pulling my hair into a high ponytail on my head. I wondered throughout the house, finding that it was a large, three story Victorian mansion.

_Strange, _I thought. The owners of the house must be on vacation; surely Victoria couldn't afford this type of expense.  
As I continued through the house, fascinated by the different paintings and sculptures and ecstatic about the large library, my throat became even more of a preoccupation. Soon, it was hard to even think straight, so I returned to the dreary room that I had been changed in. It was strange that this room was so dull, considering the extravagance of the house.

I soaked in the sun coming into the room, and tried to focus on reducing the annoyance of my thirst, but that just revealed an empty place in my heart. I didn't have to dwell on that for long though, because a new scent entered my nostrils. It was tantalizing, and a red haze filled my eyes. I tried to ignore a weird force that was trying to control my reactions. This resulted with an ache of my throat that felt double-bladed and my thoughts turned more violent as it became even more unbearable. My willpower slipped away, and my instincts took over. A gentle thump of a heartbeat could be heard from miles away, and my monster rejoiced. I flew out of the house for the desirable and appealing fluid that called to all of my senses.

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**A/N: Okay, I'm happy! This is the longest chapter so far! I just want to thank sunshine-in-the-rain, porsce911turbo, and catchmyambition for their timely repsonses to my author's note and for suggesting awesome music! This chapter would have tooken MUCH longer to write without your help!**

**Anyways, what do think of this chapter? Oh, and be sure to check out my livejournal (link on my profile) and friend me if you want to! I also post my fanfics there!**

**Also, I'm now an active Beta Reader, so come to me for all of your Beta-ing needs! Thanks again for all of the Reviews, Alerts, and Favs... I love you all so much!**


	7. Smile Never Faltered

My feet moved on their own accord through the silent forest. I was preoccupied with the fire that blazed at the back of my throat. Venom poured into my mouth and I had to swallow to keep the venom from spilling over, like drool. My stomach was twisting as my thirst voiced itself.

It felt as if I was shoved into a small section in the back of my brain, and a demon took control of my body. The monster inside smiled in anticipation as the heavenly scent pulled me through the trees. The scent was unlike anything I had ever smelt before, and it made it nearly impossible to think about anything other than how the warm liquid would feel in my mouth.

My muscles tightened under my skin as I drew closer to the thumping heart. Soon, I pushed past a tree onto a small dirt path that wound its way up a mountain. I recognized the area as the Olympic mountain range, but I didn't know what I knew it from. I was utterly clumsy during my human years, so why would I enter this type of area? My monster pushed the thought aside as the scent hit me like a wrecking ball.

I had thought the scent was irresistible in the house, but it was nothing compared to how it affected me now. My vision hazed even more and I imagined the different ways I could kill this man.

A burst of wind pushed the scent away from me and suddenly I overcame my inner demon. My thoughts became clear and a single still image came into my mind. It was strange and I couldn't make anything of it. It brought pain to my chest, so I tried to forget it, but my subconscious wouldn't let me.

In a sigh of defeat, I closed my eyes and focused on the image. It was of the three Cullen boys. Edward was crouched protectively over something I couldn't see, while Emmett was pulling a ravenous Jasper towards a door. This surprised and confused me greatly.

From my poor human memories, I knew that Edward and Jasper usually got along well, but in this particular instance, they both were ready to rip each others' throats out. But, why? All three had pitch black eyes, a sign of thirst, but why would that make them want to kill each other?

I could feel the scent on the back of my throat and I swallowed the uncomfortable venom again. The thumping of a heart filled my ears and I focused on the warm liquid I could hear running through the veins of a young man. I stood in the center of the trail, waiting for my prey. Did he know he was walking towards his death? Of course not, he must be a hiker wanting to enjoy the beautiful morning air.

The desire to kill and my lack of control scared me. I had never felt so violent! I tried to feel remorseful for the man that was about to die, but I couldn't bring myself to. I hated this man, he was making me something I never wanted to be, which was a monster.

As quickly as the breeze came, it disappeared and the scent overwhelmed me again. I visibly trembled as I saw Victoria walk around the bend in the road into my field of view. My prey was following her, listening the lies she was telling him.

I didn't hear Victoria's voice as she called to me. In my peripheral, I saw her mouth form my name, but my eyes were only for the boy standing next to her. I realized he wasn't much older than me, maybe by only a few months. His baby-like face and spiky blonde hair looked vaguely familiar, and his eyes surprised me. His wide, hazel eyes held fear, confusion, and, strangely enough, recognition.

"Bella? Is that you?" He asked incredulously. I quirked an eyebrow but didn't answer. Victoria held my gaze for a few long seconds, before she ran behind me. She must have seen the thirst in my eyes and knew I would fight her if I thought she was trying to take away my food. The young man was startled by her apparent speed and fear grew more prominent. I smiled demonically as his heartbeat quickened and the blood rushed throughout his body.

Before I knew what had happened, I was at the man's side, sinking my teeth into his delicate, vulnerable flesh. He screamed and futilely tried to pull away from my iron grasp. The warm blood was pulled into my mouth as the venom poured out into his body. It seemed a fair trade, the new, delicious liquid for the annoying uncomfortable substance.

All too soon, there was no more blood and I dropped the body to the ground. Slowly, my senses came back to me, magnetized by the blood I had ingested. Instantly, I went from satisfied to horrified. I sank to my knees next to the mangled body laying in the muddy trail. Slowly, I turned the corpse over and wiped the dirt from his face.

"Oh, Mike," I gasped silently and I choked on the tearless sobs rising in my throat. The lifeless hazel eyes stared into mine, his fear still etched over his once lively face. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I reverted to instinct. I twisted from the grip and growled menacingly. Victoria's eyes widened in surprise and her expression softened.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't know you knew him!" She seemed genuine, so I relaxed my stance, but remained on the ground. "The first kill is always the worst. Don't worry, the guilt goes away when you realize that this is the only way of living." I grimaced and Victoria turned away from me. "Just come back to the house when you're ready. We need to leave soon."

I didn't answer. I felt her presence leave and I stared at the lifeless body next to me, wishing I had shared his fate. Why couldn't Victoria just kill me? Why had I ever wanted this life in the first place? Why had the Cullens left me? All they had shown was love towards me, as I had to them, but then they just up and leave town. What made them?

The questions came and went quickly; I knew I didn't have any answers. The pain in my chest magnified but I retained a small amount of hope. Edward had said he loved me, and I was sure that wasn't a lie. Maybe, now that I was less breakable, he would want me.

I tried not to dwell on anything and I just sat there. After a few hours had passed, I gently lifted Mike's body and dug a small grave for him. It wasn't much, but it was the most I could do for him now.

I sat against a tree, the disgust and guilt completely engulfing me. I was there for only a few minutes before calm settled through me. It was subtle but I instantly felt a connection with my past. My eyes flew open and I saw a flash of a pale face with gold eyes and messy blonde hair, before it disappeared in the darkness of the forest.

The calm eased away, yet the horrible feeling didn't come back. A smile crept across my face and I stood to go back to Victoria. I took my time, walking at a human pace, and stopped at the porch of the Victorian house. My smile widened as I realized why the room was so familiar and why the rest of this house was so exquisite.

Surely this was a sign from god that the Cullens still cared for me. Why else would I be changed at their mansion? Their house gave me hope, and my smile never faltered as I entered the house.

* * *

**A/n: Thanks for all of the music suggestions! I downloaded some music from everything people said, and I love it all! You all are so helpful!**

**I'm sorry, but yes, I did kill Mike Newton. I know how everyone is attached to him, so will you find it in your hearts to forgive me?**

**Thanks for all of the Reviews, Alerts, and Favs! Ya'llLove! Please review also! It would make me so happy!**

**Friend me on my livejournal! (link on profile!) Thanks!**


	8. AN

Author's Note: Okay, thanks for all the messages/reviews people! I'm probably not going to rewrite most of the stories, but I will go through and make some edits to some chapters tonight (nothing major; just making sure everything flows) then tomorrow (saturday) night or early sunday morning, I'll have at least a chapter up for each story! Exciting huh?

(hopefully this is the last author's note for a while...)


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